We confuse love with a feeling because we love cathecting with loving. Cathecting doesn't imply the spiritual growth of the cathected object

We confuse love with a feeling because we love cathecting with loving. Cathecting doesn't imply the spiritual growth of the cathected object 

M.Scott Peck weites

"Two  strangers  may  meet  in  a  bar  and  cathect  each  other  in such   a   way   that   nothing-not   previously   scheduled appointments,  promises  made,  or  family  stability-is  more important  for  the  moment  than  their  sexual  consummation. Immediately  following  their  sexual  consummation  the  justmentioned  couple  may  find  each  other  unattractive  and undesirable.  We  may  decathect  something  almost  as  soon  as we  have  cathected  it." (From The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck)